Musings

Celebration

This last week, my youngest son graduated from High School. Throughout the week, there were multiple celebrations (recognized for High Honors and as Student of the Year in World Languages), capped by the actual graduation event.

 

I had the opportunity to spend time with ALL of the people whom I hold most dear – my four boys, my brother and my parents. I brought my late husband’s picture with me to the event – it seemed wrong not to include him.  It feels like we did this together, even though he skipped out on the last five years.

 

While my heart has been full and I have reveled in the company of my family, I’ve also noticed that I haven’t been able to “get anything done.”

 

None of my creative projects have attracted me; I haven’t been able to write this Musing; I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time on Facebook and playing games.  

 

In short, while the celebrations whirled around me, I felt sort of “checked out.”

 

With writing and meditation and prayer, I’ve come to this understanding that, while the accolades were given publicly to my son, they were mine also.  

 

I raised four boys into amazing young men.

 

Despite the challenges (it’s damn hard to do without your co-parent), they have each one of them continued to do what kids do – grow into who they are meant to be.

 

I think my checked-outed-ness has to do with letting go. Understanding that this (huge) portion of my life – raising babies – is complete.  (Yes, I know there will always be things to do – but THIS PART), this part of active duty is over.

 

I feel like I should have a celebration/acknowledgement event of my own.

 

I’d like to do something, but I’m not sure what.  Do you have any ideas/suggestions?

I’d love to hear from you.

Rachel


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